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Time:09:15 am
Current Mood:nervousnervous
Some people may have heard about how our student body president was murdered on Wednesday morning. It's been all over the national news, which kind of surprised me since I thought it was purely a local event. I have to admit, the whole thing has kind of shaken me up a bit. I mean, for one thing, Chapel Hill, for those of you who haven't been here before (which is probably everyone who reads this) is one of those places where things like this just DON'T HAPPEN. I think the last time a student was murdered was in 1995 or something. It's one of those idyllic little communities where the people are friendly and the houses quaint. You don't even think about things like that happening, or worry about it. That's one of the reasons I came here.

Another scary thing is that she was 22. And blonde. And seemingly perfect. And all she was doing was driving in a really nice neighborhood at 5AM. Who among us hasn't been out at 5AM? Who would think that in a really nice neighborhood, you would be yanked from your car and shot multiple times? They think it was a car jacking because her car was stolen too. I think it kind of shady because who wanders around looking for cars to take in the middle of a residential neighborhood at 5AM? And apparently, the girl didn't even live in that neighborhood, so what was she doing there? No one even knows. It's all very weird, but it just really makes you think a lot. It has really shaken me up because she seemed really innocent, and didn't have someone like an old boyfriend who wanted her dead.

And I hate knowing that despite the sketchy aspects, it could have been so random, because that means that sicko is still out in Chapel Hill. I've definitely been on edge since I found out about it. I really hope they figure out who it was, because that girl did NOT deserve for that to happen to her. By all accounts, she was a good person.

This world is so scary sometimes...this stuff can happen even in a place like Chapel Hill.
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Current Music:"Happy Birthday" Altered Images (is it obvious I just watched "SIxteen Candles?"
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Subject:Happy Birthday?
Time:11:08 am
I woke up this morning on my 24th birthday with a mean case of heartburn. I thought, damn, I'm already suffering from the afflictions of the middle-aged. Hahaha. Of course, I have had issues with heartburn in the past, but to wake up on a birthday with it when you are already feeling the sting of getting further into your 20's doesn't make you feel young.

Today has been good so far. My friend Katy and I got to work early so we could get some stuff done and then sneak out so she could take me out to breakfast at my favorite diner, and I gourged myself on chocolate chip pancakes. Everyone at work has been wishing me happy birthday too. But honestly, it doesn't feel like my birthday. I still remember bringing in cupcakes for my classmates and having slumber parties with my friends for this occasion, and now I'm at the point where it is just another work day. That's okay though, I am long past the age where I had to be the center of attention all day.

Yesterday there was an 80's movie marathon on TVLand, and I watched "Say Anything..." for the first time in like, a whole year. That's a long time for me to go without watching that movie. But as usual, I was completely entranced and maudlin over Lloyd Dobler. *sigh* Then "Sixteen Candles" came on to provide some comic relief, and I was stoked. There just aren't enough 80's movies marathons on these days.

Okay, back to work. Apparently there is something planned for me by work people, and I don't know when or what. So I better look busy in the meantime.

Happy Birthday to me!!!
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Subject:*high-pitched screaming noise*
Time:04:27 pm
Current Mood:ecstaticecstatic
OH MY GOD.
ME.
RADIOHEAD.
CHARLOTTE, NC.
MAY 9.


I'm still in shock that we got tickets, especially since 10 minutes after we got them they sold out. I'm also in shock that it's a Friday, a night where I could actually make the drive to Charlotte. I'm in shock that I might actually get to hear "Paranoid Android" LIVE.

But I don't understand why they only chose to do like, 7 dates in the US, all in the South. Whatever though, I'm going!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Current Music:"Rapture at Sea" Eastern Sun
Current Location:home
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Time:03:34 pm
So my birthday is rapidly approaching, and I have been back and forth in terms of how I feel about it. I mean, I'm going to be 24. I am aware that this doesn't really make me old, but I mean, I am almost a quarter of a century in age. I feel like it was two years ago that I was in junior high listening to Hanson, and now I am well into my 20's. I think the thing that is really bothering me the most about turning 24 is that I am looking at a lot of my friends who are my age from NM, and I feel like everyone is so grown-up compared to me. All of the girls I hung out with in high school (and I was kind of a loner, so this is not actually a huge number) are married, and one of them even has a child. Of my friends who aren't married, most of them are moving in with someone or on the verge of getting great jobs or something along those lines, and then I look at me...I'm single, I have been without a boyfriend for like 3 years, I live in a rented place, and I am still in school for another few years. I should say that I don't actually WANT to be married/with child right now, but it still makes you feel kind of bad to feel like you are not at the same "adult point" as other people. I know I'm in school and eventually I'm going to be doing great things, but grad school on a day-to-day basis is not enough to make you feel like you are accomplishing anything.

That being said, I think the part of me that is still a kid is excited for celebrating my birthday. It's the one day where you can be the center of attention and no one thinks you are being a spoiled brat. So I'm trying to amplify that feeling as I get excited making preparations and stuff. I don't want to feel bad about turning 24, I really don't. I guess birthdays just get more depressing as you get older.

Not much else to report. I have recently discovered the joys of vintage clothes shopping on ebay. I am always at work or the gym lately. Going back to Cruces, even if for day, has been the ultimate motivation to get me to the gym. But yeah, life is boring for this soon-to-be 24 year old...
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Current Music:"Processed Beats" Kasabian
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Subject:Yet another post about Heath Ledger
Time:07:55 am
Current Mood:annoyedannoyed
All I have to say is this:
I am very, very sad about the death of Heath Ledger. When I read the headline on cnn.com on Tuesday, I honestly sat there for a minute and thought it was a joke before checking two other websites just to make sure. He was a very gifted actor, and it's a shame that people like him have to die so young when actors I hate will probably be making movies until they are 103 (I'm looking at you, Kirsten Dunst). Hell, I almost burst into tears at a montage of his work played to the Brokeback Mountain theme...however, I maintain that that has to be the saddest piece of music ever written, and they could have played that to a montage of the presidential campaign trail and I probably still would have cried. Anyway, I'm quite bummed about his passing, and I really hope he's in a good place now.

However, I am thoroughly disgusted with the media circus that has erupted over his death. First of all, yes, he was an Oscar-nominated actor, but for Christ's sake, so many news stations are acting like he was a member of the royal family. CNN had a whole web story about how "people remember Heath Ledger's kindness through personal stories." And these personal stories included someone who was staring at him in a mall and a guy who got a flat tire and Heath happened to see him and help out. Really? This is newsworthy? There are strangers who help people change tires every day, and they don't get recognized for their kindness. Because he was an actor it's like a whole different story.

And then there is headline after headline that gets corrected, especially on TMZ.com. And how many times do they have to tell us the poor guy was naked? Jesus, people walk/sleep naked when they are alone. Big fucking deal. Now this talented man is going to be known as the actor who was found dead and naked. But the whole rolled-up $20 bill thing is the worst. Turns out it was clean, and I think the media is like, "oooh, sorry about that..." I would love to know what they would interpret as drug paraphinalia in MY room. "She has a mirror with some odd powdery residue--it MUST be cocaine." Yeah assholes, it's called eyeshadow. And the "pills found strewn all over" his apartment turned out to be neatly placed in almost-full containers. Talk about sensationalism at its worst.

I just think they should let the guy rest in peace, and let Michelle Williams/Heath's family grieve in peace instead of trying to film them, hoping to get a tear or sob. It's so tragic and awful, and I hate how the media is making it into such a joke.

Oh Heath. You'll always be Patrick Verona in "10 things I hate about you" to me. :(
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Current Location:work
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Subject:Politics, schmolitics
Time:09:56 am
Current Mood:energeticenergetic
I like to consider myself someone who is pretty well-informed about politics, and this election is no exception. I mean, I am the kind of nerd who for as long as I can remember has sat and watched election coverage, and this year is no exception. However, this year is obviously a far more exciting election than years past, which makes things more interesting to watch; there are no clear winners for the party nominations, and things have reached a fervor even though the national election is still 10 months away. Given this, I have to vent about a few things associated with this election:

1. If I hear about Hillary Clinton crying one more time (or even just see the goddamn clip) I am going to punch someone in the face. I don't like Hillary Clinton, I never have, and I never will. This does not make me a raging republican or someone who hates women, I just can't stand HER. And I don't care if people try to tell me how great she is, I am entitled to my opinion. I think there are women who are far more qualified to run the country than her. I know she faces a lot of challenges competing against men, as women in the workplace have for years. But there is a balance, and if people are this shocked about her showing emotion, then she must not have struck that balance at all. I don't care if she cried, this doesn't make her more likeable or feminine. She is a politician, through and through, and she will do what it takes to get votes. So who fucking cares if she got choked up at a diner?

2. I finally made the switch from an independent voter to a party just so I could vote in the primaries. I have always taken Samantha from Sex and the City's view on political parties: "I don't believe in Democrat or Republican parties...I just believe in parties!" I prefer to be non-affiliated because I find problems with both sides. I feel uncomfortable with having chosen one side. That being said, I think my family is going to disown me based on the side I chose, but whatever.

3. I like the feeling that for the first time in years, there is actually a change in the air when it comes to the election. We have an African-American, a woman, and a Hispanic running for office. I think that is amazing, and speaks to the fact that our country can no longer be properly represented by an aging, Protestant white male. I really hope the country doesn't screw this up by picking a McCain or Romney...and certainly not a Huckabee.

4. And finally, the fact that people are so concerned about these two primaries is kind of irritating. 99% of the country still hasn't even voted, and the people on TV are acting like this is the freakin' national election. RELAX. We still have a long way to go.

Phew, that feels better. And just in case you were wondering who I plan on voting for, it is Barack Obama, 150%. That man is change embodied, and I love him. And I don't care what anyone says. :)
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Current Music:NHL Outdoor hockey game
Current Location:My mom's house
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Subject:2008
Time:02:43 pm
Current Mood:calmcalm
Well, it is finally the new year, and I was more than happy to say "sayonara" to 2007. Looking back, I can't really think of anything really awesome about 2007, aside from getting to see people like Taryn and Fabi (people I hadn't seen in a year or more), and joining a lab...and I guess moving into my new place in the summer...and yeah. That's about it. The rest of the year I felt unproductive, crabby, stressed, and kind of depressed. I think my awful semester in school sucked the life out of me, and I just kind of sunk into this state of being that I wasn't very comfortable with, where I had no energy to do anything and I totally doubted myself and what I was capable of. I kept looking at my life as pretty pathetic, and I don't like doing that.

But I am looking foward to this new year. It's a clean slate, and I am heading back to North Carolina on Thursday renewed and refreshed, ready to kick ass this coming semester and year. I want to get a paper published, I am going to do way better in my classes (mainly because they are more interesting than the ones from last semester), I feel more confident in my appearance and my single status, and I am just going to make the most of the year. Odd-numbered years always suck anyway. So I say bring on 2008...

On the other hand, I am not really looking foward to heading back home on Thursday. I need to get that first day of work over with, and then I will be fine, but right now I am kind of dreading it. It was so nice having a vacation and not thinking about science at all for 2 weeks. *sigh* Back to the real world...
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Current Music:"Shake Your Rump" Beastie Boys
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Time:10:44 am
Current Mood:mellowmellow
Only a few more days until I take off for Denver. Honestly, I am stoked to be leaving Chapel Hill for more than a few days. I haven't been gone for more than 4 days since August, and I need breaks every once in awhile. The fact that this has been the crappiest semester ever hasn't helped, because I am even more anxious to get away from here and recharge my batteries. I just don't even want to think about labwork or my upcoming classes while I am there, but that will probably be impossible. *sigh* So the fact that I am leaving on Friday morning has been making this week go very slow, especially because I have very little I can do at work. Now it is only 10:45 and I am already getting bored. This is going to be a long day.

The idea of visiting my dad in Albuquerque in March has been floating around, and if that happens I would obviously go to Cruces for at least a day. I was so freakin' adamant when I moved away from there about how I would only go back if I absolutely had to for a wedding or funeral, but I guess my opinion has softened a little. Besides, a few months ago I was having these recurring dreams about going back there for some reason. In my dreams it was never revealed why I was there, which made them even more annoying, because I couldn't understand why I was having dreams about Cruces. I kept wondering if maybe I had unfinished business or something, and now that thought is resurfacing when I think about visiting. I don't even know what it would be or anything...maybe I just never had closure with that town or something. All I know is, it would probably be incredibly strange and emotional to go back, even if only for 24 hours. Of course I want to see my friends (although the number of them still there is diminishing), but I don't know if I would even want to be there for more than a day.

I hate being pensive about Cruces, but I think I was the same way about Harleysville. Whatever, I guess.

Anyway, I better find something to keep me occupied...

Christmas in one week!
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Current Music:"In The Garage" Weezer
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Subject:Hurray for Winter Break!
Time:03:39 pm
Current Mood:nervousnervous
Well, as of 10AM this morning, I was officially done with class for the semester. However, given how crappily class has gone this fall (with my professor who seems to hate women and for some reason hates me), I am going to be totally on edge and paranoid about how I did until I find out my grades. That kind of sucks, because I want to be able to enjoy being finished with class and just working in lab until I leave for Christmas. It's just so impossible when in the back of my head I am constantly thinking about whether or not my responses on the exam were correct, etc. Blech.

This weekend was pretty busy. I did a ton of Christmas shopping on Saturday, which helped me to fight off the hangover I had from Friday night at the wine bar...which was one of those nights where I didn't realize how blitzed I was until I got home and tried to get ready for bed. Yeesh. I also saw The Namesake on Saturday while I wrapped gifts...I have to say, I didn't like it. The book is one of my favorites, and as a result I probably had a more critical eye. I mean, they just took liberties with a lot of the plot, and cut out so much. I understand that many things had to be left out or else the movie would have been like, 5 hours long...but the way they decided to edit it left you thinking, "wait, when did this happen? Who is that girl?" So bummer for that, I really wanted to like the movie. Anyway, then on Sunday I got more gifts and played Guitar Hero for what felt like hours. There needs to be a warning label on that game, seriously.

I have been in a Weezer mood lately, and I'm not sure why...the Blue Album is pretty much the only thing I feel like listening to lately.

I am so stoked, I got a book to read for the first time all semester...I swear, I am such a loser, I look foward to when I don't have class because that means I have time to read actual fiction. I picked up "Suite Francaise," which is supposed to be really good. I'll be in fiction bliss for the next few weeks...

Okay, back to work...thank God I only have an hour left and then I can go to hip hop!
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Current Music:"Breathe" Michelle Branch
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Time:03:11 pm
I'm going to steal Liz's idea and list the things I wish I could do today:

-get my hair cut
-not read about kidney physiology
-lay in bed and watch TV
-drink some tea
-get an experiment to work
-go to the book store and look through travel books/good fiction books
-watch my Arrested Development dvds

What am I actually doing today/tonight?
-reading about kidney physiology
-hoping my experiments will work
-hopefully finishing off the bottle of wine leftover from our girly get-together last night

I'm so glad it is Thursday, mainly because I can't wait for next week. Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday, and I get to go up to PA, so both things are making me very antsy. The start of the holiday season next week officially kicks off my favorite time of year, the month between Thanksgiving and Christmas. I am so excited to get a tree and decorate the house...plus, I think we might go ice skating now that it's cold here. Obviously, thinking about all of the awesome things coming up is making me not want to be at work.

I LOVE that the leaves have changed here. This morning it was raining, and so the sky was this drab gray color, but it made all of the colors of the leaves stand out in this unbelievably beautiful and vibrant way. I seriously wanted to sit down and write a poem about it. Mornings like that make me so glad I live in a part of the country that has seasons--and not just hot and less hot.

Ugh, back to my reading...I hate kidneys. Haha
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